We were listening to music on cable this evening and I saw an album named "Can't Love, Can't Hurt" by Augustana. What struck me wasn't the music we heard, though it was good, but the title of the album. I thought of my own children and their struggles to find and keep relationships going as young adults and I wondered if this is the legacy that we have left them with high divorce rates and alternative living situations.

I have been one of those who have been married and divorced more than once. I can see as my own children have moved into an age where they are establishing or attempting to establish relationships the effect of my own challenges in that area. Unfortunately, it took me until well into my 40's to figure out relationships and how to compromise and fully commit. Hopefully, I can now demonstrate for my children the qualities of a good relationship. Unfortunately, during their formative years, that wasn't the case.

How do we retroactively teach our children that it is okay to love and to hurt? That hurting is actually part of loving, part of being vulnerable to another human being. The more we are willing to open up, the deeper the connection we feel and the more possibility of being deeply hurt. But, it's also the path to finding love and awe in the eyes of another.